I have this big problem, and it's called my life.

It was quite a last minute decision for me to come to university. The entire time I was at school I didn't think about going at all. 

This was until the start of my final year of 6th form and all everyone was talking about was university. This was one of the first times I actually went  ''oh shit, I have to go have a life of my own soon.'' After a few meeting with some woman who had fuck all helpful to say I decided that going to university will if anything by me some time before I had to make a big decision. 

Drama was the only subject I ever enjoyed going to, so it seemed the perfect option to choose when it came on deciding on what subject to take. I used to love being one of the best in the class (big headed) as it was so far from the norm to what I was used to academically. I used to love the freedom that was in that classroom, you could put your own personal twist on what you had to do and create something you could be so involved in. 

However something has changed since those years of performing in room D2 of Corfe Hills School. I'm not sure if it's because I've changed or simply Iv'e lost the spark that I used to have with the subject. After 1 year and 4 lectures of studying drama in Winchester I'm seriously wondering whether there's any point of me being here. I was sat in my theatre in education/ drama in education lecture, the lecturer was speaking about the way that some people find drama not important and that it falls under English in the education curriculum. Prompting lots of students rolling their eyes and uttering how ridiculous it is that drama isn't considered a real subject and I just found myself seriously not caring. I've lost my passion. I feel I don't fit in with these people who care so much about this subject, all they care about is performing and I seriously don't see the point. God, the Rikki Bissagar of year 11 would have been so pissed off that drama wasn't considered important that he would have expressed his anger through interpretive dance. (lol, drama joke)

The only problem is that I'm not passionate about anything, there's nothing that I REAAALLLLY want to do with my life and it's a serious problem. Whenever I go to my past time job a have this feeling of pure hatred of what I'm going to do for the next however many hours. I need to find something I'm passionate about, I refuse to be someone who hates what he does for the rest of his life. 

At least I have a thriving social life to fall back on. Oh wait.